100 Watchers Bonus 001: Cyber Chicken

[kurtofsky_ims]

Cyber Chicken


{ This is AU as of IM #14, folks. Sorry for any confusion. }

Comments

[brittyzombie.livejournal.com]

I laughed so hard I "HAW"ed. I LOVE YOU GUYS.

[kurtofsky-ims.livejournal.com]

I never HAW -- but I ALWAYS, ALWAYS SNORT. This happened SEVERAL TIMES while writing this IM. :D

[setos-puppy.livejournal.com]

HOWLING.

FUCKING CHRIST.

Kurt, Dave needs some alone time now.

Christ, that's spank bank material for-fucking-ever.

[kurtofsky-ims.livejournal.com]

Kurt, Dave needs some alone time now.
While we were writing this I just kept thinking -- my god, it's a good thing this is AU. They'd never be able to look at each other on Skype again.

[ibshafer.livejournal.com]

Oh, GOD, poor Dave!!!

hehehehe...

PLEASE tell me this doesn't end here, that, like, Kurt gets Dave to fess up about why he had to go so quickly.

Was Kurt just being randomly, oblivously sexy, for the purpose of the dare, or was he actually, sort of flirting with Dave? Because, really, at this point, why aren't they doing more than chatting with each other? Why aren't they dating? They really have gotten to be close...

Amazing how plausible you have made all of this seem.

When, oh, when, do they stop IM'ing and starting talking in person?

[kurtofsky-ims.livejournal.com]

Was Kurt just being randomly, oblivously sexy, for the purpose of the dare, or was he actually, sort of flirting with Dave? Because, really, at this point, why aren't they doing more than chatting with each other? Why aren't they dating? They really have gotten to be close...
When we were writing this, Tess and I considered it AU as of the latest IM to be posted. It doesn't really work with the storyline we've already established but haven't posted, so it's just a fun extra where Kurt was trying really hard to get Dave to give up so that he wouldn't have to face whatever consequences there are of failing to complete a dare at Dalton.

As for your other questions, some of them will be answered by IMs posted within the next week or so.

[fairyjen03.livejournal.com]

I'm both laughing my ass off and also having this image in my head of what Dave just went to do.... HHHAAARRRRDDD

fekuywvbfsjdkba

hahahahahahahahahahha

dkjsabLFJBEA

*FALLS OVER*

hhhhhnnnnnnnggggggggggggggggg

[silvercell2.livejournal.com]

your icon is amazing

[victoria-satu.livejournal.com]

"um you win" fucking hell Dave you have no self control omg I'm dying over here

I didn't even take my virtual pants off.

Oh, did you want to that badly Kurt? ;)

[kurtofsky-ims.livejournal.com]

Oh, did you want to that badly Kurt?
I think he was surprised at how quickly Dave conceded. And maybe a little turned on, but our Kurt's an oblivious thing.

[theunknownsoul.livejournal.com]

WHY IS THERE NOT MORE?

[kurtofsky-ims.livejournal.com]

You should really be asking Dave that. He's the one who conceded before Kurt could even unbuckle his virtual belt.

I died

[grimapparition.livejournal.com]

:dead:

Re: I died

[kurtofsky-ims.livejournal.com]

Crap. Where did I put the defibrillator?

[therealmarajade.livejournal.com]

OMG YOU GIRLS ARE MEAN AND I LOVE YOU FOR THIS!!!
I just KNOW that Karofsky had to leave because of, er, hum, some pressing matters that suddenly came up. :P

[kurtofsky-ims.livejournal.com]

Yes. Up it certainly came. :|

[silver-paired.livejournal.com]

LOL

Oh Dave, poor guy.

it's okay sweetie
you're only human

[dlgr.livejournal.com]

icccoooonnnzzzzz *hugs it*

[une-insomniaque.livejournal.com]

So I'm one of those shy lurkers were rarely comments because I'm always afraid that my comments are lame and just repeat what everyone else said...

But this. This. I need to comment on this.
Just. Kittens and an I Heart Ponies undershirt. Dave, you know how to cybersex right. I. I can't even type coherently over here, I'm trying too hard to suppress my laughter so I don't wake up my roommate. It's not working too well.
...Shit, I woke her up anyway. THIS IS WHAT YOU GUYS DO TO ME.
But ohmygod, it's worth it. Because this is fucking hysterical. Oh, Kurt, I think you broke Dave's brain with that. "Um you win."
"Really? I didn't even take my virtual pants off!" I can picture Kurt saying this in a totally matter-of-fact, vaguely intrigued way, and it kills me.
In fact, I think a keyboard smash is the only way to express my complete and utter love for this.
Askljlskrgjslkgjsskknnxktxtzzahahahahahahahaha.

Let's just say that I am SO glad I checked LJ one last time before heading to bed. Because this absolutely made my night. I'm gonna go to bed all giggly and happy now. You two are wonderful. Absolutely wonderful. &hearts

[kurtofsky-ims.livejournal.com]

Kittens and an I Heart Ponies undershirt. Dave, you know how to cybersex right. I. I can't even type coherently over here, I'm trying too hard to suppress my laughter so I don't wake up my roommate. It's not working too well.
He was totally deliberately messing with Kurt at first, until Kurt brought the sexy. :D

Kurt, I think you broke Dave's brain with that. "Um you win."
He's very good at that. This is definitely going in AU!Dave's spank bank forever.

"Really? I didn't even take my virtual pants off!" I can picture Kurt saying this in a totally matter-of-fact, vaguely intrigued way, and it kills me.
Tess and I imagined that by the end of the brief conversation, Dave was totally wrecked, and Kurt was sitting primly at his computer, fully-dressed and typing coherently.

Let's just say that I am SO glad I checked LJ one last time before heading to bed. Because this absolutely made my night.
Aww, thanks sweetie! ♥

[briarkin.livejournal.com]

OMG.

Yay for horny!Dave. :p

[kurtofsky-ims.livejournal.com]

Now that is a sentiment I can get behind. :D

[meghan-84.livejournal.com]

I laughed so hard my mom just checked to make sure I wasnt choking on my drink!

[kurtofsky-ims.livejournal.com]

Holy crap! Well, I'm glad we didn't kill you! ♥

[shinaka.livejournal.com]

I... love this so much. *_* The awesomeness has so bowled me over that I don't have much more to say. Just. THEM. ASKFNLMG;

[kurtofsky-ims.livejournal.com]

Thanks, sweetie! ♥

[sunisfading.livejournal.com]

But this is AU, though, so it never happened at any point in the ~regularly scheduled content~, right? Ugh.

[kurtofsky-ims.livejournal.com]

Nope. Never happened. But that doesn't preclude us from giving you guys some legit sexitiemz scenes in the future. :D

[ktfranceebee.livejournal.com]

Ohhhh, Kurt. You merciless tease. xD

[kurtofsky-ims.livejournal.com]

Isn't he great? ♥

[dlgr.livejournal.com]

*clapsclapsclaps*

HAHAHAAHAH! Awww Daaave! XDDDD

Dear lord don't tell me when the time comes he...well comes too early. *facepalm*

[kurtofsky-ims.livejournal.com]

Dear lord don't tell me when the time comes he...well comes too early. *facepalm*
This is fanfiction. Nobody comes too early in fanfiction. And there's never a wet spot, and there aren't any embarrassing noises or leg cramps, and there's no messy cleanup afterwards, and nobody loses interest. Ever. ♥

[lumossolarum.livejournal.com]

My word.

Poor Dave. Just. You tried so valiantly to make it as hard for Kurt with your talk of I love Kitten t-shirts. But his hot was to much for you. He didn't even get down to his virtual pants. *pat pat* Never mind though dear. Hopefully he'll have people daring him again, and you'll hold out longer next time.

Seriously though guys. JUST. SO MUCH LOVE. THIS IS SO...I HAVE NO WORDS. ALSO KURT IS REALLY GOOD AT CYBER CHICKEN. WTF KURT. You win the interwebs /caps

[kurtofsky-ims.livejournal.com]

Poor Dave. Just. You tried so valiantly to make it as hard for Kurt with your talk of I love Kitten t-shirts. But his hot was to much for you. He didn't even get down to his virtual pants. *pat pat* Never mind though dear. Hopefully he'll have people daring him again, and you'll hold out longer next time.
Next time he won't be on painkillers and it won't be AU, either. :D

THIS IS SO...I HAVE NO WORDS. ALSO KURT IS REALLY GOOD AT CYBER CHICKEN. WTF KURT.
Hey, like he says, he watches a lot of porn. ♥

[idyllictorture.livejournal.com]

Lol, this was so great. Poor Dave. I wonder what he was thinking about when he attended to his pressing matters? ;)

[kurtofsky-ims.livejournal.com]

I couldn't possibly imagine. :|

[paris-5053.livejournal.com]

I'M BLUSHING FROM ALL THE SQUEALING AND GIGGLING.

THIS IS PURE GENIUS.

[kurtofsky-ims.livejournal.com]

THIS IS PURE GENIUS.
Aww... *circles toe in dirt* I'm glad you enjoyed it. ♥

[beckiemeg.livejournal.com]

haha he is so easily turned on...that is so why he left.

[kurtofsky-ims.livejournal.com]

Oh, definitely. :D

[wine-carnation.livejournal.com]

AAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! 's a good thing no-one's home now because I am laughing and actually clapping because you guys are so awesome it's hurting my stomach.

Kurt, you SKANK! I love how he admitted to watching a lot of porn! I never would have thought that of Kurt lol he's so prim and proper XD

And Dave, poor, horny Dave, Kurt totally out-sexed him didn't he :D And I love that he kept using capital letters and proper punctuation all throughout the cybersex omigod Kurt you wicked, wicked thing you really ARE naturally talented at this :D

So hang on... is this really AU? Because I will be very sad if it didn't really happen.........

[kurtofsky-ims.livejournal.com]

's a good thing no-one's home now because I am laughing and actually clapping because you guys are so awesome it's hurting my stomach.
Do go on. :D

Kurt, you SKANK! I love how he admitted to watching a lot of porn! I never would have thought that of Kurt lol he's so prim and proper XD
Hilariously, that's the image we had of Kurt while we were writing this last night -- sitting primly and fully-dressed at his computer, typing pervy things at Dave, who's lying in bed, trapped by his immobilizer, totally wrecked.

And Dave, poor, horny Dave, Kurt totally out-sexed him didn't he :D
Dave was gone the moment "sex" showed up on his screen in Kurt's font.

I love that he kept using capital letters and proper punctuation all throughout the cybersex omigod Kurt you wicked, wicked thing you really ARE naturally talented at this :D
If being fabulous doesn't work out, he's definitely got a future ahead of him in the gay romance novelist track, LOL.

So hang on... is this really AU? Because I will be very sad if it didn't really happen...
This is AU as of #14, only because we have like a week and a half of caps that you guys haven't seen yet, ready to post, and it doesn't fit in with the storyline as we've written it. But don't be sad! Just because these sexitiemz didn't happen doesn't mean other sexitiemz won't at some point.

[graciexmae.livejournal.com]

DAVE HAS SEXY KITTENS AND HE HEARTS PONIES. YES.

um you win - lolololol Dave, that was certainly rather quick. One would almost think you'd been ready to go from the second Kurt typed the word "sex". ;)

[kurtofsky-ims.livejournal.com]

DAVE HAS SEXY KITTENS AND HE HEARTS PONIES. YES.
It's almost like he was trying to mess with Kurt or something. :|

um you win - lolololol Dave, that was certainly rather quick. One would almost think you'd been ready to go from the second Kurt typed the word "sex". ;)
My god, he really, really was. Oh, Dave. ♥

[kalliasgrimm.livejournal.com]

"I didn't even take my virtual pants off"

Possibly the best sentence in the world

[kurtofsky-ims.livejournal.com]

Haha! Thanks, sweetie! I think I temporarily killed Tess when I wrote it.

[pipariperho.livejournal.com]

Oh gawd, YUS! LOL, so fricking funny!

OK, what comes next? Tell us already!

[kurtofsky-ims.livejournal.com]

You'll see before noon, EST, I promise. :D

[illuminatius.livejournal.com]

Oh, GOD. This is one of those times where my overactive imagination really knows what to do. UNF, the image of Dave stripping...


...I'll be in my bunk.

(This was hilarious. Poor Dave!)

[kurtofsky-ims.livejournal.com]

This is one of those times where my overactive imagination really knows what to do. UNF, the image of Dave stripping...
While that was happening, it was really hard to keep from just keysmashing in Kurt's typeface, my god. O_O

This was hilarious. Poor Dave!
Dave was pretty much gone from the moment Kurt typed the word "sex." Poor thing.